The Dizziness of Self Part Two

It's been two years and a half since I written anything interesting and personal on my site. Since then a pandemic has ravaged the landscape of what we all used to call our homes. Now, things look quite different for all of us and that sense of security we used to go to can no longer be called the same thing.

For a time there I felt like I had some training and some purpose to the rhythms in my life. I was probably most acutely aware of this during my years studying yoga religiously and getting my certifications at the Himalayan, Kripalu and Sivananda Yoga ashrams, but then something happened and I lost that rhythm and I lost that touch with whatever the divine might show itself as.

I've looked everywhere to see if maybe I can reignite that spark but the motivation and lack of discipline keep stopping me in my own tracks. "Real life" or what some yogis would call "Maya" -the dream of real life - keeps creeping back in. Ill health, life lessons and the repartitions of repeatedly unlearned aftermath of the mistakes I have made keep making their comebacks. Meanwhile, the static is overwhelmingly obtuse and too harsh to see past. I've lost something, a friend maybe, a partner, or maybe just myself.

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